July 17, 2016
Dads in today’s world
There is no doubt that most men have proven themselves more than able to care for our little ones. They may not have the natural instincts that mothers have but they have stuck it out and shown that they too can equally contribute to raising our children.
In recent times many men have become stay at home dads while moms venture off into the corporate world. Many men are also single parents. Unfortunately many people, even in progressive first world countries, are sometimes still unable to value their contribution to caring for our children. The man’s way of raising his child is often questioned, second-guessed and even scorned by society.
A friend of mine once asked me what we did on Mother’s Day at my son’s school. Of course the school had a week of activities planned leading up to Mother’s Day, which I related to her. She then asked what was being done for Father’s Day. She went on to tell me that there was nothing planned for Father’s Day in her daughter’s class. It was at their dinner table that things got a little uncomfortable. Her six-year-old daughter asked if daddies were not as important as mommies.
I’ve spoken to a number of fathers, mainly friends, who say that they are often monitored by society when they take their kids out. One dad said that taking his son to the parks could be a nightmare. Carl often takes his son for afternoon play while his wife finishes off her day at the office. He says that he has been told from how to comfort his son after a fall to how to wipe his mouth. He recalled a day when he was at the zoo with his seven year old. His son began to fidget and cry. While trying to console his boy, a woman who appeared to be a nanny accosted him and accused him of trying to “play mother”. She even threatened to call the necessary authority to report that he was ill-treating the child. Carl said that he had never felt inadequate before. He says that he still questions his ability to be a good dad even though he knows that he does his best.
Fathers are often ridiculed for helping around the home with homework and dinners. Clifford’s wife boasts that he helps out with the laundry and often prepares breakfast long before she is out of bed. Susan is a stay at home mom, yet Clifford feels the need to help out around the house before he heads off to work in an accounting firm. He says that he is often teased at work when he chooses to head home to help Susan prepare dinner for their family of five, instead of taking a nightcap with the boys. But Clifford doesn’t mind. He often joins in and makes fun of himself. He strongly believes that his responsibility is molding a responsible life for his children and believes that the only way that he can do that is by being constant in their life.
Nizam was probably the only disgruntled father I met but with good reasons. Nizam wanted to know why the hype for Mother’s Day did not trickle down to Father’s Day. Nizam said that he never has trouble finding a present for his wife or mother on Mother’s Day and even if he forgot the day his mailbox will be overflowing with offers for the best Mother’s Day deals. He said he almost forgot to get his father a present for the last Father’s Day. When he did remember he couldn’t find a proper card. He said the stores were very limited in their selection. A funny story will make it’s way to generations to come based on that Fathers Day though…Nizam’s dad gave him the same card that Nizam had gotten for his dad.
Fathers have come a long way from being just the breadwinner to being an equal in the home. It is time and only fair that we pay tribute to these amazing partners and what better day to do it than a day that was specially dedicated for them…Father’s Day.